Larks and Owls.

The graffito of life lies with lord
Being a lark my  body rises up ,

It sees the sun rising; praisng the world
Eyes close:light is bright ,

My area between the two eyes; feels sick ,
Something pierces it deep down. ,

Not a bildungsroman, but epic on my life
I watch him struggling to get out ; but din stops him,

Birds chirp , nightangle sings
Why then only my heart cries out loud?

I doze off with the blanket of night,
Owl is left in me , not a man ,

I am now perfect, unaware of false
Only correct dwells me not the conscience ,

Peace is what suits me
And not pain,

Because even night is the purest
Let alone the light glowing,

I am both larks and owls
I am both light and night,

If only I fail in being
Is the human that I lack to be .

The little girl !

She was having goosebumps and I as an intruder could watch inside of her eyes that dreamt and had been dreaming of the old fairy tale . I wondered :was the Lord biased? Or was He giving? And I had a sigh that was unheard by the crowd .

Aeroplane flied high touching the cover of sky, sky what to say about it . It is magnificient, it is filled with charm but like the land covers the element of inequality high up above .She was watching either the plane or the birds , but she was watching high . Though living in a place where dust and home are equilant , where the purification is no word and where people call the place the slums . But still she looked high at the sky .I went to her as a friend , and a questionaire that was set up by herself , and my conscience . I wanted to ask her what inspired her to look upto the sky and that height without blinking and with continuity . With these questions overflowing my heart second thoughts arose , as to what would be her reaction , what would be her attitude . But then I let it go and approached to her . I remember she was wearing a torn skirt and a skinny shirt and looked mal-nourished . She was black in complexion and her hair was more beautiful than the fake hair actresses wear .

“HIE , I said and she smiled with the circle of  silence that seemed to never end . I broke the silence for I had to ask her and I said :how have you been , my little girl ?

I dont know had she seen in me some familiarity or positivity that she started playing with my hair , started touching my accesories which I wore and gave me smiles all this way .she then started , my name is Lilly , and I live here . I saw you watching me the heights of sky and plane but I can only see and imagine for I cant buy the pen . I was day dreaming about my sitting in that airplane and what more flying it myself . A fairy land had evolved me in the day . I have heard that fairy tales occur mostly at nights but for me day and nights are all same . I am never exposed to anyone but when you came and smiled at me you actually took me out of the fairy land and reality came back to me with a blink , blink that was missing at the begginning .I cannot fly in the sky nor I can travell in plane the thing I can do is sit at one place and watch the heights . That moment she had a call from a woman who was maybe over hearing us . Or maybe who was her mother and at that moment I had a grudge cum question to lord ;

“Creator of us, all merciful , but then why to her the sky is fairy tale and why to us the death? “I had a sobbing and prayed for the protection of the fairy tale of the little girl . ..

Life beyond the crown!

Life to some is sitting at one place and signing of documents , and to some it might be the sophistication idea of being alive and to others it might mean to breathe and let others breathe too.On explaining life , these full stops don’t actually work, for none ends the definition and not for the man who was called as “guard of royalty”and not by his real name ; never ever .How  sad was on the part of people who called themselves the royalty but couldn’t give the individualistic identity to the man who in front of them just protected them from the crowd of intruders .

Until one day when his brain worked a midst the all royalties living in that palace . The king had two wives , both sharing their equal shares of life with the king . The story didn’t end being this happy until this king was honored for his work and called for the party , a grand celebration . On hearing this , he was so excited at first but it was slowly ending for he had a sudden realization . That the party would give only one wife the status of queen and the other would be left-over part of the party floor . Frustrated on this point , the king began to grew anxious .Not because he  loved both his wife’s desperately but because of the vision of turmoil that would be a new arrival between the two wives on hearing the selection the king had to made. Unfortunately, that was the biggest vision happening to reality.And the two wives lost their minds and their was the welcome for the abusive words and unconditional hatred . Petrified by the mess in his home king began to loose control and he had no singal idea as to what was the solution until his eye met a vision with the man sitting at the front of gate .He went to him and the guard of  royalty stood up and greeted him in his own way . The scene between the king and  guard had come to the point of awkward feeling to which the guard broke the ice watching the left brow of the king rising up . And he said politely in his soft spoken voice “sir, take both of them because it will not only end the mini-war but also stop you from wrinkling your skin”.

And at this point the king closed his eyes, raised his hands and called out RAM , the very name of “the guard of royalty”. The name his ears had been longing for ,and life for Ram at this point was beyond the crown .

And let your wings fly away !

Soul breaks down
Heart breaks up,
You still breathe
Amid-st the sorrows of grief.

People did no good
You clapped via one hand,
Fingers of adolescence are lost
Hold your pen and fly.

Then and now there is a tale
Of you that is unread,
Because you are now changed
Change in you and atmosphere.

But everything is two sided
Like the reflection in the water,
You have got everything
Still there is an escaping.

Escaping from forever
Escaping from dreams,
Escaping from people
You now just need a cloak.

Then one second you kiss
The brow of the girl,
Who is a child
Though so close.

Close like your soul
She kisses you back,
Gives you the realization
And you let your wings fly.

Simulacra.

They go with the perfume sprayed
They come back with the lipstick,
Yes, I am talking about beautiful humans
To which lord has the best simulacra

The pond that has just been clean
Is an example to this world “the best”
Had the dead boys known its simulacra ,
They wouldnt have rowed the boat which drowned in the end.

Lord
Clever, Magician
Humans, Animals, simulacra
World,creator fiction ,I
Killing,hatred, hereos of fake
Intruder, immortal
Man

Creation of new life ,Cheers to US !

College has just started and we feel like sisters , have I been knowing Ill get a sister cum friend I had come to Delhi the minute mother handed me the bottle of milk . Skies would not have been more happier than watching us clicking pictures in the campus on the first day itself . Public might get horny on this fact but who cares because we had already a bond . From Kashmir I had come as a single hand but your presence made me the cluster of stars . From your tomboyish attitude to “why are you guys ignoring me” emotional one ,you always have been a friend which looks after everybody in the group . Not making anyone feel less miserable in the new place  . How hard you try to be girly the Sapna brother will never end :p. There are many people in my life who have occupied some of the definite places ,but you my friend will always be remembered even i breathe my last today . Here is just a short poem about the memories you have given me and the days we are going to spent in glee and happiness , Insha ‘allah !!:-

 

From the crowd you came to me ,as if I had to offer you something

the love you offered me , can’t be replaced  even by my death

people like you are crazy, yet to find is difficult,

because you introduce me to everyone as “your kashmiri friend”

I love the way you teach everyone the skills of brave ness

and I look past and I have no single friend in comparison

your love in your insults ,your angry look, oh boy 

ILL cherish in my whole life ,even i die tonight .

because you are my same bad -ass birthday partner

ill never let you go now , praising the co incidence in life

who cares about your no having place in our class

silly ,you already have made a place in our little home, called the heart .

A big lesson learnt from the quote below .#Respect

Happy Friendship day !

“and they said I have changed had they known what is it like to be alone in the city  full of lights -takbeer “

Its been a year to hear their voices ,the last time i had met them was probably in november my final paper boards . But then I had made a connection through the online stuff ,we had been in a verbal contact and no physical one which is disheartening .But I had kept myself the same , the same takbeer as people say , the joyous , the ever lasting humor (bad or good I never knew ),the ever good -hearted girl ,yes I had kept all these things in time ,not shifted to the minimum ,I had still the same old definition to explain me, but somewhere along the coastline and along the continuity even the online stuff didn’t work ,I had to met with the texts like “hmm ,kk , and okay”I wasn’t born to be treated like this I told myself one day with my eyes full of tears.And then with this brawl with my own good self nature I had to quit being nice . I had to turn the glass the other way so that the lid is full . I ignored , i accepted that too . I disconnected but I had a right (,don’t you think so I should have done so?).Then the time came and i flew , i changed the city ,they texted me saying all nice good wishes but at that time I already had “it doesnt matter attitude ” for I had changed from being good to an irascibile . That wasn’t my fault ,was it?I dont think so ,it wasnt  mine .

Times changed ,changed my number too ,but still I was the one texting them with my new information and giving updates .Maybe that was the part of me that was missing them , the times spent with them had come up alive again , and i had to fall back because they didn’t know  “what is it like to be alone in a city full of lights ” Maybe i was subtle because i had shifted with life , complete different atmosphere or maybe i was selfish , because at the point i realized i needed them i revoke them once again ,or maybe the animosity in the past was dead . Things seemed nice enough to start all over again , until I met my college mates all together from different autobiographies and distances . And at that point I realized that its not how close you feel about your relation nor its like how much do you share ,its making someone feel nice about their existence and giving them a sense of pride of individuality ,and that moment i HAD A GOODBYE to the one who never actually stood for me ,they were large in number but then who cared when their heart didn’t function at all.Its a matter of time , that you will understand what actually you are looking for , i found my time when i was already in college .

And as i see today the calendar ,which spots on 4th august , i texted them HAPPY FRIENDSHIPS  DAY and still the same cold feeling re_-voked with the statement that I have changed . Sighing aint an option ,I am much more precious than doing this .ITS not a regret ,its simple i don’t care .

Beyond the equations !

We live in a generation where kids have phablets in their hands ,where teachers use google ,wikipedia , and youtube for discussions in classrooms,where even a baby can give you countings till 10 . Its fact ,call it a 21st century magic  ,  or the technological improvement, it is happening and the world is changing around us .Reflecting upon the past era’s where sometimes it was called a literary era ,where you could have find ghazals, sonnets , rubaiyats ,and epics in air ,where rhyming topic of english had its own charm ,where people produced epics and not fairy tales ,where humankind produced Shakespeare and Ghalib ,to an era where inventions and scientific developments had its own maximum level ,where Tesla had its electricity and Edison had its part of fake role , then it was a complete shift from literary -inventions-science-“working class “.It didn’t matter to people as to what they were doing ,the thing they were worried about was cash and the amount they would receive after spending half of the life sitting in one room with files and papers all filled with petty negotiations .

 

Beyond these eras ,of humankind and world has seen itself ,their lays this future generation the 90’s kids ,who are into rock and roll , music , paintings ,acting , and many creative things like this , who  are indulged greatly in doctor and engineering degree and who above all believe in everyday productivity .I belonging to same group of kids neither has an art of music ,nor has the creativity of painting sculptures , but to me my biggest asset is writing and i write for myself ,i don’t care about sarcasm because I know my perceptions . And for this love of words I took english honors , beyond equations lies this bunch of course which cant only suggest you to thank God at every moment you learn a new word but to the understanding between books and you it gives the immense pleasure one finds reading equations of ,mbbs and engineering .

 

and i took english honors ,because beyond equations it  helped me look more closer to God .

HAPPY FACES !

 

I am happy as  in I haven’t fought with my friend,I am happy as in I have a smile on my face , I am happy as in I am not crying , I am happy as in nothing is going on and I feel numb ,I am happy as in the sun has again risen up ,I am happy as in my loved one’s are alive and still active ,I am happy as in I am blessed by lord ,and I am happy as in I can see myself  ._takbeer

Whenever as a child ,teenager ,and adult we are asked about the meaning of HAPPINESS different ideas come up and we are again left with no conclusion ,because no definition of HAPPINESS ends and no definition can stop us thinking, at actually where does HAPPINESS stands .For a butterfly flying around us can mean world to us and feeding the poor child can imply the same .There are diversification of happiness that needs to be pondered about . Talking about myself as in person the phases I have gone through life , aren’t based on grief , nor pain ,nor immense poverty and nor any kind of attack ,but when asked about the word happiness I am kind of reluctant for I have lived life being happy and not a depressed soul anytime in life . Maybe that’s God blessings upon me that I haven’t felt the actual pain or maybe my share is kept at the later part of my life or maybe God is biased upon HIS creations and gives happiness to some and pain to others . But are Happy FACES always happy ? Don’t they hold any story behind those happy joker faces they carry along with them . Observation to those happy faces leads me to the conclusion that actually the famous quote which is like”happiest faces are the saddest one inside “ is apt for everyone ,because even at night when we all are sleeping their is  tear falling ,maybe out of curiosity ,pride,or pain it falls and we wipe it out with the palm of hope and again happiness of sleep creeps in.

 

Maybe thats the way God wants us to remember him by the tear,and thank Him FOR our survival maybe thats happiness for Him .Because “ no definition of HAPPINESS ends and no definition can stop us thinking, at actually where does HAPPINESS stands “.