Unexpected !

It has already been a week , and I am kind of loving my current city Delhi . IN my past where Delhi always had been a part of my vacations I could not have thought of making it my residence in my nightmare even ,for Delhi is still a huge thing or gift for an amueture like me and I who have not ever been in a state where family is not present ,this phase of life was a difficult to choose .  But then I was brave enough to accept the fact and I tagged this as my “COLLEGE LIFE”,that made me even more stronger .

 

The first entrance of my college was worth remembering a thousand year epic . I had got chills imagining the college first day earlier ,and when  my first foot stepped inside college I was kind of fainting to death for the environment and the groups that had already been made came as a surprise and I was left like a lonely cloud floating in the sky . AND i couldn’t find anyone worth socializing until I made a move .Move that would have decided my future acquaintance ,the move that would have reflected my character in future and the move that would have leaded me to those four years of my masters that I couldn’t have survived alone ,and the move that could have decided how good I was in speech . and how and from which status could i have thanked ALLAH for introducing to me my new mates ,acquaintance ,or what ever or maybe soul sisters . So after a minute of my stepping to college campus i was like in the group of 5 to 8 people and i said alhamdulillah . The things i noticed in people  that i met is they excelled in “EXPOSURE”that I was lacking of, of course .The miscellaneous things they did and know got me into a dilemma that I was lacking way too behind ,like somebody knew magic ,somebody sung,somebody painted and somebody did all of the above . Pondering about my growth in talent I was bound to conclude that my life needs :EXPOSURE. 

 

Unlike the teachers of my high school who didn’t teach anything but demanded respect ,who cared for us never but demanded appreciation ,who had so much to brag about their status that they kept humiliating students their stood this college staff who is their for us , who stands for our problems and things we need to discuss ,who share a lot of personal information and above all who don’t demand a “MA’AM ” status ,and above all who our mothers to us . 

 

coming to college life ,i have realized the status and the flattering and the things that goes around the high school life is a farce .the one who is experienced knows the life . 

realizing it on my first day of college ,that I don’t need attitude of institution to give me education , i just need teachers who are in the college _takbeer .Image

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College life !

From toddler who has always been sleepy in the class, whose homework was done by the teachers itself ,who was as lazy as any abnormal being , and who finally grew up and became a school going kid.where standing up for right things was always on the majority scale , where good impression marked the day and where good performance satisfied parents ,to finally a college girl who has reached to a sensibility that no one can even stare at her without permission . To a maturity level even her parents cant imagine. And I being that toddler, school going , and a college going girl would write about my college things and happenings everytime I live my college life. Cheers to this college life.B)
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The picture is from my college, kamla nehru (delhi university )

Dream , I have a dream .

Today my teacher had told me to buy “the odyessy”by HOmer as a part of my syllabus and I went to my nearest book store wearing a blue shirt and black skirt. The hair was tied up and I was without make up . As simple as that I entered the store looked around and the people had come to check out their stuff as I had . Some where on the fiction side and I remember a girl picking up a book titled :can love happen twice, and to my surprise she was wearing her engagement  ring . I sighed and went along the shop .there was a man looking for an autobiography with the spectacles on his head. In short it was a store full of people and millions and crores of words piled up in numerous shelves.while my heart and mind was in literature book shelf, and  I could smell each and every feeling of the writer and I loved that moment .

For once at that moment I could see a book shelf in my self acclaimed prophecy and their were huge books of my name .and at that point I had a dream once  again lived up . I had a vision about my being a writer in future . Lord has always been very kind, more then I deserved .but then I just really hope lord will let me try to live my dream, vision in some existence of life .

Dream, I had a dream in a book store that I have a book of my  name .

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Little Solar System !

I come across every colour in the universe

some are stars others fake the role ,

I love the hustle bustle my surrounding has

but my heart has a journey to the back,

 

Where spoon feeding was at best

where mothers love knew no bounds,

Where i cried and thousand things came as surprise

where happiness had no get together,

 

I called it my home , and the people i loved my family

leaving them I chose a life to battle with,

College hasn’t been good to anyone

but I had never heard of leaving a family,

The little solar system has been fun so far

with the diversification it has wretched my heart,

Hailing my name all around the corridors

I can hear the sweetest,  my parents voice ,

 

In the dusk ,in the summer’

when these four years will end,

Ill pen down the moments with gold

Where I think about my family even more .
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I define it CRAZY !!

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Life , to some its a tale  , to some its an  illusion, to some it might mean the end , to some it might mean the work , and to others it might mean a magic and to me its crazy yes LIFE IS CRAZY . Sometimes I wonder what if the place I am standing or sitting right now would have  not exist like it exists.What if the sun I am watching with the book in my hand never existed for me . These questions arise in my mind and I am left with no answer to reply to lord’s blessings and the things HE has flourished my life with . But then while saying LIFE IS CRAZY I am not adding adjective to the creation lord has created but to my individual life to which I am to blame of course not for creating but for living it like I have . 

 

Every life is already written by lord . Even the tiniest of ant cannot wish to live more if HE has already decided the end of the ant . And pondering about my life I cannot thank him much .and today with absolutely no selfish interest or desire I thank him for giving my body to me . I love you lord .

All else ” dim “!

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Curled up, my arms laid in His ,

I stood up gazing at the fall

the curtains appear to be a swing

the lights were turned on .

How fake was the mixture ,

the white light didn’t mix well

the crimson light had its own charm

and with a blink the lights where turned off.

Peace , and satisfaction d welled inside me,

how beautiful the creator was

lips broaden on watching a group of birds

scattering its light by the wings of fly .

It seemed as if its moving away

away with thousands of things untold

I sighed for i never wished it to come back

for i had a silver light at night too .

Crafted for my beloved of night ,it came unannounced

Sighed, for it had arrived a little late

but it hugged my souls from inside

I was silver, my bed was already.

How beautiful the creator, the heart whispered

I saw my bracelet which was golden in morning

it had turned silver purifying the thoughts

I praised its color for nothing was ever brighter.

Materialism is fake like plastic,

the colors of bright wall fades and die

what remains is the magnificence of lord

to which we mention as solar and lunar crowd.

Hails to the master of the creation,

what beautiful talent, he captured

because there are things brighter then solar and lunar

but no comparison ,for all else “dim”.

Life I presume after I die !!

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Death is so saddening , at a point of realization that we all have to die we actually feel numb and it freak our minds . I sometimes think of death and world as a tale an ancient one that is told to us for not being too much desirous and we as a matter of fact tend to accept it as a ultimate reality ,reality that will never end . But then its our way ,way of humans . The phenomenon of seasons, (winters,monsoons,summers,autumn,springs)and many more things seems to be some kind of things man has created for who is GOD we actually don’t know .So this world actually appears to be like a fairy tale and we are living in its fairy land . But then what is there that has no END ,what is there that has no Beginning ?life is clueless at even next second. Then why doesn’t a human reflect and ponder about death sometime in his existence . maybe we are too supreme beings that we don’t fright death any more ,maybe we have found solutions to protect ourselves from death and that has made us ignorant .But at this journey of my in WordPress where my posts have crossed a century yes (100) I and my heart imagine the story of life after my death ,my presumption i call it :-

1.The news would spread like a wild fire , and i don’t know how much time before i die would i live with my family . being the youngest of siblings my death will leave half dead everyone .my parents would turn  half crazy and they would not find any reason to smile . (which i beg them not to do because life is much more then just living for children’s ,move on i suggest).

2.My belongings would not be given off ,that much i know for my family would keep them as a sign of remembrance,but then at some years or months ahead they might bury them in soil .

3.After my death ,my friends would talk about my wrong doings and right ones and also back bite my disadvantages . but then who really cares for FRIENDS i never had really the real one ‘s (so go on bitches);p .

4.I would be a center of conversations among many people who would have come across me .IF i would have been an office going my firm would take out many words of gratitude on news papers and would also appreciate my work in their on going conversations .

5.Social network sites accounts (twitter,Facebook,whats app) would all be DE-activated and it would say the link is broken .

HOW I WANT IT TO BE LIKE :-

1.My family should not consider it as the ultimate end. for their existence means alot to lord .my family should get over it asap .

2.If successful my books (because i will be a writer and nothing else)should be preserved by the government of at least 6 countries as a mark of respect .

3.I should not die of any disease GOD should let me die in a minute and without pain .

4.I would at least have visited 6 God made countries.

5.I should get enough time with family so that i could repent for all the wrong doings of my existence .

p.s:phew ,my hands were trembling in reality while writing the article .tasting death would be absolutely out of the world . i pray i do not get  a suicidal death nor a premature one . the time lord has allotted for me should be my ultimate .

(on the celebrations of my 100th post ).