Happy Friendship day !


“and they said I have changed had they known what is it like to be alone in the city  full of lights -takbeer “

Its been a year to hear their voices ,the last time i had met them was probably in november my final paper boards . But then I had made a connection through the online stuff ,we had been in a verbal contact and no physical one which is disheartening .But I had kept myself the same , the same takbeer as people say , the joyous , the ever lasting humor (bad or good I never knew ),the ever good -hearted girl ,yes I had kept all these things in time ,not shifted to the minimum ,I had still the same old definition to explain me, but somewhere along the coastline and along the continuity even the online stuff didn’t work ,I had to met with the texts like “hmm ,kk , and okay”I wasn’t born to be treated like this I told myself one day with my eyes full of tears.And then with this brawl with my own good self nature I had to quit being nice . I had to turn the glass the other way so that the lid is full . I ignored , i accepted that too . I disconnected but I had a right (,don’t you think so I should have done so?).Then the time came and i flew , i changed the city ,they texted me saying all nice good wishes but at that time I already had “it doesnt matter attitude ” for I had changed from being good to an irascibile . That wasn’t my fault ,was it?I dont think so ,it wasnt  mine .

Times changed ,changed my number too ,but still I was the one texting them with my new information and giving updates .Maybe that was the part of me that was missing them , the times spent with them had come up alive again , and i had to fall back because they didn’t know  “what is it like to be alone in a city full of lights ” Maybe i was subtle because i had shifted with life , complete different atmosphere or maybe i was selfish , because at the point i realized i needed them i revoke them once again ,or maybe the animosity in the past was dead . Things seemed nice enough to start all over again , until I met my college mates all together from different autobiographies and distances . And at that point I realized that its not how close you feel about your relation nor its like how much do you share ,its making someone feel nice about their existence and giving them a sense of pride of individuality ,and that moment i HAD A GOODBYE to the one who never actually stood for me ,they were large in number but then who cared when their heart didn’t function at all.Its a matter of time , that you will understand what actually you are looking for , i found my time when i was already in college .

And as i see today the calendar ,which spots on 4th august , i texted them HAPPY FRIENDSHIPS  DAY and still the same cold feeling re_-voked with the statement that I have changed . Sighing aint an option ,I am much more precious than doing this .ITS not a regret ,its simple i don’t care .

Beyond the equations !


We live in a generation where kids have phablets in their hands ,where teachers use google ,wikipedia , and youtube for discussions in classrooms,where even a baby can give you countings till 10 . Its fact ,call it a 21st century magic  ,  or the technological improvement, it is happening and the world is changing around us .Reflecting upon the past era’s where sometimes it was called a literary era ,where you could have find ghazals, sonnets , rubaiyats ,and epics in air ,where rhyming topic of english had its own charm ,where people produced epics and not fairy tales ,where humankind produced Shakespeare and Ghalib ,to an era where inventions and scientific developments had its own maximum level ,where Tesla had its electricity and Edison had its part of fake role , then it was a complete shift from literary -inventions-science-“working class “.It didn’t matter to people as to what they were doing ,the thing they were worried about was cash and the amount they would receive after spending half of the life sitting in one room with files and papers all filled with petty negotiations .


Beyond these eras ,of humankind and world has seen itself ,their lays this future generation the 90’s kids ,who are into rock and roll , music , paintings ,acting , and many creative things like this , who  are indulged greatly in doctor and engineering degree and who above all believe in everyday productivity .I belonging to same group of kids neither has an art of music ,nor has the creativity of painting sculptures , but to me my biggest asset is writing and i write for myself ,i don’t care about sarcasm because I know my perceptions . And for this love of words I took english honors , beyond equations lies this bunch of course which cant only suggest you to thank God at every moment you learn a new word but to the understanding between books and you it gives the immense pleasure one finds reading equations of ,mbbs and engineering .


and i took english honors ,because beyond equations it  helped me look more closer to God .

The toughest machine!

download (5)If ever I was asked about the one complicated machine that had been ever created my vote would go for the human body not because I belonged to it’s category but no airplane,no telescope,no helicopter is as complicated as the human beings for there are many reasons.

FIRST: first of all the structure is to be praised.How beautifully is it set up.Which engineer,or which scientists would have come across the idea of making a structure that is easily enough to control the world. The eyes that could see the creations of almighty which are so magnificent that even the encyclopedia would fall short of the words.who would have ,other than the God HIMSELF   !download (7)

SECOND: comes the gift bestowed to the human i.e life. Ever pondered about what life is basically?who created it by what intentions?Encyclopedia and thesaurus defines the life as that thing that is alive.but how far is it reality?because even an alive person is dead while he is asleep..but then what is reality?

THIRD:gift of emotions.The roller coaster ride of emotions that human always fights with is the third miracle.what is anger?what is smile?what is euphoria?what are the other jumble groups of many more constant emotions are another set up of miracles that this difficult machine the human body is bestowed with.

FOURTH: struggle,struggling in life is the biggest gamble a human being does in the period of his existence.struggling with anything ranging from work,status ,position,rank or even life while fighting with deadly diseases. Struggle has been there for the poor and rich it sees no status hence its stagnant not shrinking.

FIFTH:‘death‘.human being is born,and raised .it is build up and it shrinks though for others life moves on.but for the individual it is the same story.life is an illusion that seems so beautiful but closer it comes heart wrecked it leaves a person.

Summing up this essay I would conclude that no machine other than human body is as complicated as it is because no machine dies in the end as this does .download (6)



When I look back at the frozen doors
Doors of serenity and hope,
As a lover of HIS shows
I cover myself under a cloak.

I wish my birth to be among them
These fresh doors are so material
I crave for the night
where I ,could praise HIM for the light.

But who has been compared to them,
Comparison doesnt meet their doors even
They were the scholars and depth of ocean
For they were the lovers of lord and no body else.

I am living in the lust,
Where love can buy money
Where body’s are sold for pleasure
And not kept hidden from the public.

Talking about the beloved
I am still longing
For I am a sinner and a seeker
To which realization is still hidden.

But they say what goes around
Comes back too,
I crave for the beloved lord
I crave for one and only HIS love

B’coz all things come in a circle
This shall pass too
Long live the literature lovers
For there will be again love

That is not lust but pure
That is for HIM
And not for world,for there
Will be again love that is lost in paradise.

Those Tears (I am sorry)

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Tears are all around
In the eyes of old,
In the eyes of naive
There is a stream to flow.

Tears have their story
A story that is different
Some shed tears of longing
And some of deception.

But those tears when I saw
My heart stopped and crushed
It broke to pieces and I could hear
The mirror of my heart breaking.

That time I couldnt see deep
B’coz I was the reason
I cursed the situations
And I just couldnt stop from bleeding.

My heart was in pieces,it was sure
Blood was all around
It was b’coz of those wrinkled eyes
That I stopped breathing.

Time had stopped and I was frozen
I couldnt see no more of those tears
For I was tender,
I couldnt let him stop but,I could feel the outburst pressure.

This was the first time I saw him cry,
My life went into dark just because i was the naive
The doors of separation had started
And the days now could be counted

But ,dear daddy I LOVE YOU
ISINT that enough?
Though we cant stay that strong
But I promise to make you proud.

B’coz daddy friends might break,
Teacher may leave the class
Our relation has the limit sky
For,daddy you are my only star !!


Page 2

So the moment is just like the same.There are many multi -tasking going on.Some are distributing sweets,huggs and kisses are being recieved and given .Some where even deciding my future and also guessing what the baby would be called.This is the moment called my birth.My moment of birth is just as same as any child.So amidst these happenings doctor in the meanwhile has given my mother the permission of going back home,and we are all set to start afreash ,the family of four.

My sister is small but she is a grown up in her own self , emotions that even lead one to death have certainly crept her inside for she has taken up the responsibility of the three of us ,I ,mother and father. At this stage of my life where i stand today and when i sometimes ponder about the past I smile and wonder that how does God beautifully bless people with family.How fortunate are the children who get so much love from two unknown people apparently their parents.Life is an IRONICAL statement itself.

So ,our family which is still struggling to get a worth life,where we strive for a better life each day .Eyes are there for people to dream,to make castles not only in day but also in reality.Fortunate are those not born with a silver spoon for they know the hidden reality of life.I personally dont think that king and queen of the town would have been able to answer the ‘what’s’ of life,for they just know the number of hotels they own leaving behind the reality of life who owns just his own life.tumblr_m4tfc0DuQR1qfet8co1_400tumblr_m4tfc0DuQR1qfet8co1_400

Diamonds of the first water !

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There always has been  a strict difference or comparison between your acquaintances and friends .Many among us are still confused at the point of difference between these two or is there really any  between them .To me in my childhood age friends seem to have been a part of some fairy tale ,and to be honest a mystery .For I loved to distance myself from the crowd .They called me inconsistent for I was sometime friendly and at other rude and they had a doubt was I even a real FRIEND or was I just another random girl making her acquaintances .I didn’t know the cause behind my behavior maybe I was meant to be like that or maybe i needed that change ,or maybe it was who I was .Coming to my acquaintances i had like huge amount of them like really huge .I was famous both being online and offline and to my acquaintances i was more dear and that came to me when i at every step of my life reflected upon my group of friends .This is not a remorseful article that I am writing to my readers its just that I want to thank my friends for letting me know the real worth of my acquaintances and people who loved me . They say at every birthday we dont get older but wiser its so true I mean  the writer of this line wouldn’t  have even thought for a second the impact this line would create on his readers . writers are blessings from GOD . My life was in absolutely apple pie order when I came to that point of my life where social network seem to be the end of the world the ultimate . I started making myself famous,started making my social world ,started to have that identity which every teenager like me would have dreamt of . My life was like those among perfect ones .But they also have said that every thing has  a double face , like we toss a coin and the other face is revealed but we  dont know whats going it to be a head or tails . I started repenting on my being famous when none was beside me at any point of my need .its like the clap is-int made by just one hand .It needs both . Being good from your side only doesn’t help at all you got to choose between good and bad at each question even at the people whom they call as friends .And at a pinch of their own I used to get a reflection of my friends ,and believe me i didn’t have single clue as to what made us change ,they would call us perfect group so why this difference ,why this backstabbing ?At some points we even built a dagger in between but that’s not between the friends but why did that happen I still am clueless and left wondering .

At alpha and omega of my friendship bonds i somehow realized a very serious thing about life . What we decide ,or what we plan doesn’t happen so accordingly .for life is sometimes a bitch and at other a mess . I always found that void in my soul that let me think that maybe I was born to live alone like this or maybe among the best of the crowd I would be chosen by  some real good souls and not the fake ones to which i defined FRIENDS in my dictionary .I founded myself always at sea when talked about who was my best friend because I couldn’t count on any except my family and my own good soul .Maybe I was my own good best friend or maybe my family was, they were and would be those parts of my body that if detached would bring only death for me .Shakespeare has been so good to himself in saying that world is a stage and we the mere players . Player to be honest I have been to my life .   sometimes hard and sometimes cool , sometimes narrow sometimes broad sometimes loving sometimes the real bad one , yes a player to my life .My life has been between the devil and the deep sea and ALL i could recollect is that my family was beside me just my family . I am not like one born with a silver spoon in mouth who could all the way enjoy the goodness of the life ,I was among those who build castles in the air and thought of the perfect life and ending . But life teaches us to be practical at every step of our lives . I am glad I wasn’t among the one born in the silver spoon in mouth for what life is actually calls out for the people who are at sixes and sevens . 

And at this point of my life I would like to thank all my acquaintances (friends including) to show me the real bond between me and my family and above all the importance of my loved ones . I am no perfect for I am no intelligent but the thing is that I am a little closer to my life one step ahead from all those who think the moon can be deceptive but there friends cant . And maybe I was the unluckiest among the crowd for having no such friend to count on or I was closer to life and more richer because I had my own family as my best friend forever !. Whatever is it ,this is the good bye to all who thought me unworthy because if there is no body on your side family and your own shadow would be like always . and this family is surely DIAMONDS OF THE FIRST WATER .;)


I wish to see the sun of reality in sometime of my existence

The sun rises in the sky ,
The flower grows down in the earth
Eagles have their prey in the moonlight
Curtains are all over by your side .

People greet with smiling face, showing their sober to others
Had the other known the fact their is a curtain prevailing in between
The world has seen many centuries, eras,and people
Of which the pious one is unknown ,

But between the angel and the demon
There is a curtain which beholds ,
Society is ruled by the governors on the top
Bribes are taken from the poorer class ,

The latter one ignoring the true story
For he knows that their is a curtain which adds to its roar ,
When pride ,prejudices rule the world
Truth , self opinion loses control,

For it knows that their is a curtain to be closed.
Repugnance, repentfulness, sorrow when piled up ,
Suicide , killing,death crowns up
All hopes are lost and sun rays are gone,

Because there is a curtain which is still widespread and needs to be crushed,
Water flowing from the spring comes to the brim
Dont know where to go ,left or right ,for there is a curtain that needs to be rolled.

Being consience or unconsiencly we smell the curtains of life at each stage,
Where at one side there is a curtain of lose,
And at other hate.

Curtain of fade ,curtain of fake
Curtain of despair ,curtain of lie.
Curtain of high esteem, curtain of tide.
Curtain of duty,curtain of misery .

The curtains that cut man from each other
The curtains which stop happiness to spread
They are called curtains because they are the barriors
They are called curtains becaue they are the refusal.

On a morning i pray to the rising sun
Let these curtain be cut down at last
And world be a less misery
For there are curtains of irony !


curved , spined , tangled I lay myself on bed
Thinking about the stars I had been gazing so far ,
I could reflect just upon the facts
I could reflect just upon miseries

Man intelligent then other live forms
I asked this question many times to God

why on earth man was so complicated
Why didn’t he made man less beautiful ,

If he had to be mortal
Why had he to create him feelings

Life is in many forms
A cow giving birth to calf

A deer eaten by tiger
A human boy sulking milk ,

None seems to live perfect
For he is to die one day !

This thought has been depriving everyone
This thought has been poignant ,

What is there after life?
What if we die today?

There would be no wide sea to praise at
There would be no vast sky to hold on,

But still man moves on,
Locked his life doors finding the keys ,

Prays ,for his existence
Deluded by the fate

Disbelief in GOD ,
Abuses his existence ,

Then finally he lays on bed
With all the past memories

He cries ,he beggs for mercy
But he is laid in grave ,

The one who are still alive ,
Ponder on life ,

Judge GOD For being cruel
don’t realize the literal stuff !

Bounded in the realm of world
They loose grip which holds onto GOD ,

Falls down ,prays to GOD,
Becomes selfish , arrogant

Cycle repeats over generation
Till one day mentioned in all religions ,

Not the erudites ,nor the clergy
Would be saved from hell or heaven ,

Its the day of doom
That would judge your existence !

So do not judge GOD
For you are to be judged

Repentance is what a alive man can do
Blown off by materialistic things he is in dark .

God would be seeing him from up above
Would be writing his day of good -bye !

Un aware of this fact he goes on with dreams
Which deep inside him are already being killed