Rejected by millions , accepted by none
I wore a cloak of humanity .

Brightness was to a large extent
But a black hole laid within me

From the soil the rose plant grew
My map of hand would close .

There was the knowledge in sky
But who was I , I didnt know .

Beautified was my body by jewels
But who made them was unknown .

I craved for his existence only when I needed
Not when my soul knowed his presence around me .

I  went on moon ,touched stars
But I couldnt figured the creator

My imagination had made me blind
But the cosmos was older than me

So who was I ; what had I been dreaming of
I would not have known ;

Till I said good-bye to world
And left my soul in prison with almighty !


images (1)The road we travel in our daily routine seems to have an accurate end and we leave a sigh of relief when we reach to our destination thinking that we did it . What we have done is actually just crossed an illusion the so called road , if walking we meet with the crowd that we don’t count ourselves in . And also numerous sites meet with  the eye having blink only once the journey . And if its the  other way round like travelling in a vehicle we usually pretend to be some actor /actress and a piece of music runs in background . This is life for us , the ordinary people. One cant even imagine the stardom of some rock-star , who apparently is God for the public .I am no philosopher nor any guide but I just see life in a green leaf , I just see the changing colors of sky and thank God for blessing me with the eyes. Life is too short for running around after something so materialistic that we die in amid-st of nothing being a loser . I count myself in the world , in the people who have filthy desires but at the end I know that He is going to take me out of this reflection and bury me into reality . I guess its time we all think about the end because the earthquakes , the landslides, terrorism is all what will bring end and when among us we all will die there would be no one expect HE watching and laughing at us .

We are just flowers in the mud and the star in the sky , but like others being optional or different we are unrecognized !


images (2)

It’s  of crimson color and the yellow sparkle has added a magnificent look to it . Sometimes it stands perfect making you feel protected ,protected from the wrath . Sometimes you just curl , roll,lay , feel secure inside it ignoring the huge world outside you prefer to just sit and cuddle around it . It appears to you as a cover of dreams. You share secrets with it . Break promises once made with it . Struggle through life hitting on it . You are low and you look at it without blinking imagining things out of range ,feeling upside down . You feel high and jump around it . You make your identity with it , it knows your evil deeds though it acts as dumb . You paint on it , the colors of hope and blessings . But there are darker sides . This has too . You don’t. know when it will break . Break with a force . The crack that will bring end . You can get lucky if you are absent but then there is no escapism . You travel whole world . Bringing photographs of thousands faces but return to same walls . Walls which are erect looking at you laughing at you when you are pretending to be someone else . It knows no end but there is wreck in the ship that sails this shall too .watch out for the minimum ignore the maximum , take the  glass of salvation spit out materialism .because when it will break it will only leave your skeleton .prepare yourself for worst because if the walls break the skin will come to closure and it would mean the premature extinction .

Veins went blue !


A pen in my hand , a notepad (spiral) in front (open),and thousand of  words in mind ,my brain was ready to expose what i had felt but my hands were in a fix not in any moment ,yet they felt a need ,a need to write . Not for anybody else to recognize but to let my heart out so that i dont let myself feel numb

It was a family time , (family that comprised my brother ,elder sister )for parents they were in my actual home ,home kashmir . So there was dark, just to create the theatre atmosphere the speakers were in a blast and our eyes were on the laptop screen some minute distance away . And among the many movie blockblustors what we  played at the moment when clock struck at 5’o clock ,was actually an oscar winning movie 2013 biggest hit LIFE OF PIE . When i actually watch a movie or read a book , i place myself in the protogonist place and feel whatever he goes throughout the movie or book and this selected piece was no less . Though there was no female protogonist in it but that didnt made any difference to me and the movie started with the movie star cast . The movie starts with the conversation of two men ,one being the main actor and the other a mere friend . The main actor was telling his life time experience to this friend who was not stoping for a minute and a chain of questions flowed through him . And at this point i was already the actor of my movie and i imagined my best friend sitting on the same couch as was in the movie . I was high . Later the main actor had to go on a voyage because his father ‘s job was transfered and he was gloomy all the time. This was the time i didnt have any plot of my story for i never went to any voyage but still i replaced the part with my journey to Pakistan back in 2010 . I could reflect the hustle bustle the actor went through his start of voyage and the weightage was done . In our lifetime these days we weigh any journey to be more heavier then life’s and what we forget is that our lifestyle is just our little perception that has clouded the real fact .

So the movie sets off ,and actor is all in gloom and this voyage seems no fun to him . I being the same . The actor being shy tries to overcome the sadness, he feels alive when a group of animals make noise and scream in their own voices . (His father owned a zoo that was carried along in the voyage ) he goes downstairs and find himself in the front of ship where the ocean was clear to him . And in this joy i came closer to life . Like neverbefore had i imagined the pakistan crossways ,never in my life had i thought to see the other part of lord’s world and creation and that very moment i felt lord beside me who is infinite and i bet the actor would have felt same . And what is bliss more then praising lord and i inside my soul said a little prayer . In the meanwhile the weather in the movie changed and what was the intruder was the storm a heavy one . Out of not knowing this boy out of joy screamed for more rain ,lord answered it with storm and storm and hence the voyage started had an incomplete end written already . And the boat sank letting all the other men die . And i had a sigh . Not that i too had to die in my movie but to have seen sufferings going around world,seeing a son loosing his mother or vice versa and what worse a body dying of a cancer i had to sigh .

All the people in the boat didnt die , not the boy who had felt life in closer way . He was alive ,was it a lords blessing ?or was it that he had something incomplete work ,was unknown and it was left to the director of the movie to expose . For me my director was  lord and everytime i recollected of any narrow escape i had at that point i just closed my eyes and thanked god for he had everytime saved me . So with no captain ,no actual training this boy was on a boat . Amidst the stars at night , in the wide blue ocean ,,he was with his only companions that could neither talk nor demand yet lord’creation the only masters yet wild his zoo animals . But due to some incidents all the animals had to either breathe their last , or sink and die in the ocean . But one stood there with its mouth opened and one which roared the tiger . The boy was frightened . Obvious is the thing . But how far could he live on that alone boat afraid .?he had to do something for his existence mattered to him .in the most beautiful of all the ways he made friends with the tiger , and now what ever would come they both would have to settle together and this interval taught me my biggest experience ,experience of life .

That no matter what happens never end ,never let your body suicide for your body suffers not your soul and this body plus soul is in the grip of lord and we are no one . And between the evil and bad things donot ever let bad ruin you , from your affection turn it into good ,for both are created by lord heavenly and it is not we who are to distinguish . What we are for is to nourish our own body ,protect it ,feel it , meditate it ,for if our intentions our right lord will turn darkness into daylight only if we give him a wink .and this is my movie ,my
LIFE  .And at this point i dropped my pen closed the notepad . I had let my heart burst,and what had been more obvious then tears flowing through my cheeks . And my veins had went blue .


A four corner small room ,
Room ?a cell to be more precise

Bounded by the bars of iron
The cell that couldnt charge

Beyond the countings on hand
Mandila ,spent ages in it

Not sure of when he would be free
Like the nightangle on the tree

Colors are the wonders of lord
Why let them do the discrimination

His lost soul would have uttered this woe ,
For he was just black and the crime was done .

Huh,people are blind they cannot see
Deep in the sky the black birds are high

But He had got the silver lining
And a dream of president

President who would spread love
And not agony towards the crowd

He raised the slogans of one ness
Including the whites of era too

He bought the world cup
Invictus was the hard work

Amidst the pride he stood erect
Smiling to the sky,praising the whites .

The inner you ,(the most perfect)!

images (4)Many times people represent themselves as a complete replica of what they are in social gatherings or when compelled to show their worth sometimes by the family members themselves . They tell them the tales they havent read themselves ,but is known to them by some source or friend ,only to raise the standard , in front of the large group of people. Perks of being yourself sometimes take guts and not alone confidence . And in this circle of pretending to be someone else people forget their own strength , and loose confidence . They keep their discoveries ,thoughts ,within themselves and this non sharing qaulity wrecks their lives in future .this happens mostly when a person is shy . Shyness is a qauality that doesnt allow one to be what they are . And hence leave them un recognized . Last days i recollected a movie cum poem invictus , in the movie nelson mandela is the protogonist whose life has been revealed in the simplest way . How he after spending years of his life in prison because of racial discrimination then in south africa ,and how he later on becomes the president of SOUTH AFRICA is inspiring .one should take and look on these great personalities and with the cup of strength one should break the doors of being shy and let the glasses of the captain lead their future life .

I long for some familiarity

Arriving at the airport at 3 :0 clock in the afternoon my eyes met with my past and the flashback was certain . flashback of my life ,the moments i have rejoiced ,the moments i have felt in pain ,not because i was leaving my homeland for further studies but because i could see my dad for the last time till january or maybe the time i’ll get back to my holidays ,and for that matter i had left my mother inside the house saying my last goodbye and regretting about this decision of my life .

but life as they say has both happy endings and some disastrous too ,and this ending had both . but i wasn’t leaving my parents for no reason , i had a well settled plan and for that the fortuitous result  would make them the only king and queen for i left them for the higher studies of mine and not that i could bow their head in humility never ever .

so living my past 18 years in north of  india kashmir , where the mountains speak the story ,where sky has no boundaries and the air could speak to human i set for my lifes other half journey in somewhere south of india called Delhi the capital .i hate airports for one reason that they are so fake ,people greet ,people separate but none would know when would they return back and arrive back .but the only thing that is guaranteed is the fakeness in emotions and the so called love that they show to each other.

so i landed somewhat around 5;0’clock in delhi and set for a journey that was unknown to me .i saw many faces at the spot  but none looked more familiar than my own blood and family.the thing i was sure about was that i would be missing them a lot .like the hometown of mine where eyes met with a serene beauty on the first hand itself,where in the crowd of people the heart is calmed for the weather is perfect ,i had wore my shoes in the wrong direction for neither their where  familiar faces nor their was  the calmness my heart had longed for . but then i was like let go .

life is all about chances ,like which we are unaware of . but the thing that is known is the amount of pressure it would bind us with .there are going to be farewells and arrivals but one thing to be sure is of the shrinking life that has continued since ages and we are no different . do not lose people who love you extraordinary but love them even more so that distances do not matter when separations arrive between them . Image