Happy Friendship day !

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“and they said I have changed had they known what is it like to be alone in the city  full of lights -takbeer “

Its been a year to hear their voices ,the last time i had met them was probably in november my final paper boards . But then I had made a connection through the online stuff ,we had been in a verbal contact and no physical one which is disheartening .But I had kept myself the same , the same takbeer as people say , the joyous , the ever lasting humor (bad or good I never knew ),the ever good -hearted girl ,yes I had kept all these things in time ,not shifted to the minimum ,I had still the same old definition to explain me, but somewhere along the coastline and along the continuity even the online stuff didn’t work ,I had to met with the texts like “hmm ,kk , and okay”I wasn’t born to be treated like this I told myself one day with my eyes full of tears.And then with this brawl with my own good self nature I had to quit being nice . I had to turn the glass the other way so that the lid is full . I ignored , i accepted that too . I disconnected but I had a right (,don’t you think so I should have done so?).Then the time came and i flew , i changed the city ,they texted me saying all nice good wishes but at that time I already had “it doesnt matter attitude ” for I had changed from being good to an irascibile . That wasn’t my fault ,was it?I dont think so ,it wasnt  mine .

Times changed ,changed my number too ,but still I was the one texting them with my new information and giving updates .Maybe that was the part of me that was missing them , the times spent with them had come up alive again , and i had to fall back because they didn’t know  “what is it like to be alone in a city full of lights ” Maybe i was subtle because i had shifted with life , complete different atmosphere or maybe i was selfish , because at the point i realized i needed them i revoke them once again ,or maybe the animosity in the past was dead . Things seemed nice enough to start all over again , until I met my college mates all together from different autobiographies and distances . And at that point I realized that its not how close you feel about your relation nor its like how much do you share ,its making someone feel nice about their existence and giving them a sense of pride of individuality ,and that moment i HAD A GOODBYE to the one who never actually stood for me ,they were large in number but then who cared when their heart didn’t function at all.Its a matter of time , that you will understand what actually you are looking for , i found my time when i was already in college .

And as i see today the calendar ,which spots on 4th august , i texted them HAPPY FRIENDSHIPS  DAY and still the same cold feeling re_-voked with the statement that I have changed . Sighing aint an option ,I am much more precious than doing this .ITS not a regret ,its simple i don’t care .

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Beyond the equations !

The-calling-of-the-humanities-is-to-make-us-truly-human-in-the-best-sense-of-the-word.

We live in a generation where kids have phablets in their hands ,where teachers use google ,wikipedia , and youtube for discussions in classrooms,where even a baby can give you countings till 10 . Its fact ,call it a 21st century magic  ,  or the technological improvement, it is happening and the world is changing around us .Reflecting upon the past era’s where sometimes it was called a literary era ,where you could have find ghazals, sonnets , rubaiyats ,and epics in air ,where rhyming topic of english had its own charm ,where people produced epics and not fairy tales ,where humankind produced Shakespeare and Ghalib ,to an era where inventions and scientific developments had its own maximum level ,where Tesla had its electricity and Edison had its part of fake role , then it was a complete shift from literary -inventions-science-“working class “.It didn’t matter to people as to what they were doing ,the thing they were worried about was cash and the amount they would receive after spending half of the life sitting in one room with files and papers all filled with petty negotiations .

 

Beyond these eras ,of humankind and world has seen itself ,their lays this future generation the 90’s kids ,who are into rock and roll , music , paintings ,acting , and many creative things like this , who  are indulged greatly in doctor and engineering degree and who above all believe in everyday productivity .I belonging to same group of kids neither has an art of music ,nor has the creativity of painting sculptures , but to me my biggest asset is writing and i write for myself ,i don’t care about sarcasm because I know my perceptions . And for this love of words I took english honors , beyond equations lies this bunch of course which cant only suggest you to thank God at every moment you learn a new word but to the understanding between books and you it gives the immense pleasure one finds reading equations of ,mbbs and engineering .

 

and i took english honors ,because beyond equations it  helped me look more closer to God .

Those Tears (I am sorry)

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Tears are all around
In the eyes of old,
In the eyes of naive
There is a stream to flow.

Tears have their story
A story that is different
Some shed tears of longing
And some of deception.

But those tears when I saw
My heart stopped and crushed
It broke to pieces and I could hear
The mirror of my heart breaking.

That time I couldnt see deep
B’coz I was the reason
I cursed the situations
And I just couldnt stop from bleeding.

My heart was in pieces,it was sure
Blood was all around
It was b’coz of those wrinkled eyes
That I stopped breathing.

Time had stopped and I was frozen
I couldnt see no more of those tears
For I was tender,
I couldnt let him stop but,I could feel the outburst pressure.

This was the first time I saw him cry,
My life went into dark just because i was the naive
The doors of separation had started
And the days now could be counted

But ,dear daddy I LOVE YOU
ISINT that enough?
Though we cant stay that strong
But I promise to make you proud.

B’coz daddy friends might break,
Teacher may leave the class
Our relation has the limit sky
For,daddy you are my only star !!

P.s:I BEG YOU NEVER CRY AGAIN
AND ILL MAKE YOU PROUD!

Love to my beloved’s !

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It stands erect,straight
Beauty personified
But it grows old too
Like the man with the spectacles

I’m talking about
The chinar
To which my home is sparkled
It is like the young me
In autumn it sets that example.

But it also fades away
like my parents and I would
This is the world’s story
Where everything that goes
Around comes back.

They set for the journey
To there dreams
But leaving their
Old one’s alone.

They cry inside but
Never return back,for
They want to learn more.
Family is broken

Parents are shattered,
But these children make
A loud cry amidst the stars
When they shine

They go back to their parents
Repenting about their act
I was sitting on a bench
Beside the brave chinar.

Witnessing the story of the
Separation of kids
Tears flowed and I cursed
I had too left
But today i want to tell

My icons the tale of love
Dear,you are my heroes
Not less than any superhero
I am the one who escaped

I am the one who broke
But my deeds payed
Though leaving you alone
You’re my infinite lord

Ill be back
Back with the treasure
I would let you fly
Dont grow old till then ,I would be back with your love..

(#a tribute to my parents for letting me enjoy the every miracle of life, and a tribute to say that I LOVE YOU )

Diamonds of the first water !

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There always has been  a strict difference or comparison between your acquaintances and friends .Many among us are still confused at the point of difference between these two or is there really any  between them .To me in my childhood age friends seem to have been a part of some fairy tale ,and to be honest a mystery .For I loved to distance myself from the crowd .They called me inconsistent for I was sometime friendly and at other rude and they had a doubt was I even a real FRIEND or was I just another random girl making her acquaintances .I didn’t know the cause behind my behavior maybe I was meant to be like that or maybe i needed that change ,or maybe it was who I was .Coming to my acquaintances i had like huge amount of them like really huge .I was famous both being online and offline and to my acquaintances i was more dear and that came to me when i at every step of my life reflected upon my group of friends .This is not a remorseful article that I am writing to my readers its just that I want to thank my friends for letting me know the real worth of my acquaintances and people who loved me . They say at every birthday we dont get older but wiser its so true I mean  the writer of this line wouldn’t  have even thought for a second the impact this line would create on his readers . writers are blessings from GOD . My life was in absolutely apple pie order when I came to that point of my life where social network seem to be the end of the world the ultimate . I started making myself famous,started making my social world ,started to have that identity which every teenager like me would have dreamt of . My life was like those among perfect ones .But they also have said that every thing has  a double face , like we toss a coin and the other face is revealed but we  dont know whats going it to be a head or tails . I started repenting on my being famous when none was beside me at any point of my need .its like the clap is-int made by just one hand .It needs both . Being good from your side only doesn’t help at all you got to choose between good and bad at each question even at the people whom they call as friends .And at a pinch of their own I used to get a reflection of my friends ,and believe me i didn’t have single clue as to what made us change ,they would call us perfect group so why this difference ,why this backstabbing ?At some points we even built a dagger in between but that’s not between the friends but why did that happen I still am clueless and left wondering .

At alpha and omega of my friendship bonds i somehow realized a very serious thing about life . What we decide ,or what we plan doesn’t happen so accordingly .for life is sometimes a bitch and at other a mess . I always found that void in my soul that let me think that maybe I was born to live alone like this or maybe among the best of the crowd I would be chosen by  some real good souls and not the fake ones to which i defined FRIENDS in my dictionary .I founded myself always at sea when talked about who was my best friend because I couldn’t count on any except my family and my own good soul .Maybe I was my own good best friend or maybe my family was, they were and would be those parts of my body that if detached would bring only death for me .Shakespeare has been so good to himself in saying that world is a stage and we the mere players . Player to be honest I have been to my life .   sometimes hard and sometimes cool , sometimes narrow sometimes broad sometimes loving sometimes the real bad one , yes a player to my life .My life has been between the devil and the deep sea and ALL i could recollect is that my family was beside me just my family . I am not like one born with a silver spoon in mouth who could all the way enjoy the goodness of the life ,I was among those who build castles in the air and thought of the perfect life and ending . But life teaches us to be practical at every step of our lives . I am glad I wasn’t among the one born in the silver spoon in mouth for what life is actually calls out for the people who are at sixes and sevens . 

And at this point of my life I would like to thank all my acquaintances (friends including) to show me the real bond between me and my family and above all the importance of my loved ones . I am no perfect for I am no intelligent but the thing is that I am a little closer to my life one step ahead from all those who think the moon can be deceptive but there friends cant . And maybe I was the unluckiest among the crowd for having no such friend to count on or I was closer to life and more richer because I had my own family as my best friend forever !. Whatever is it ,this is the good bye to all who thought me unworthy because if there is no body on your side family and your own shadow would be like always . and this family is surely DIAMONDS OF THE FIRST WATER .;)

LIKE NIGHT LIKE MAN !!

and there will come a time ,when my void feelings would get a shelter under the  happiness of the rays of bright suns!

In the closet of mine ,in a dark empty room
I find a key chain that let me travel in the gloom

For it made me ponder on my miserable times
When i was no less a night but a man .

I lay down ,wrapped under a black sheet
Silver and golden beads sparkled all over me ,

Couldnt find anyone when gave a call to someone
For they had left me alone in the journey of my life.

But i am no timid ,i am no weak
For i let my soul to rest in some solace of its own .

Realizing how many lovers would have gone through me,
Crying and giggling the words of love in the air because of me .

I felt proud because i was the one who was neglected before,
But i saw many couples still dancing on their toes.
Their is a place full of people ,when i tend to cover them with black
They lit the glasses of candle and rejoice .

when they come from long journeys ,
They set there relaxing mode in my army

For perfect it seems for a newly wedded people
To let them express their inner feelings .

But as i say everything has a double face
I am no less for i am no extra

People are there who loathe me
People are there who abhore me,

For i am the one giving them pain
For i am the one giving them no sleep.

Science calls it insomania
I dont have a power to erase it .

I am subsided by the sun rays of the morning
I am ended by the new day of the begginning .

And when my alarm rang
I realized the meaning of life

an abandoned man, and a night
Are a same with no competition .

For a man to be in despair
Is like a night having no light .

So i was once a night but a man,
But i got the new way with the sun shines ! .

GOD is He really in NUMBERS ?

whitewe were children of gardens , we were the student of teachers ,we became the graduates of college ,we became the doctors of the patients ,we became the engineer of world’s hugest bridges ,we became the king of the town , we became the lover and the beloved ,we became the coolest mom & dad of our child .we became old and turn into grannies ,we lay in our bed of ultimate sleep an STILL the life moves on!

ever wondered on the circle of life that how is it possible that the person we hardly know turns out to be our travelling friend for some certain journey , or the patient lying on the bed praising doctors skill even if doctor ain’t sure about his survival , or how birds make homes on trees and how monkeys imitate our actions and give us the replica of them via their reaction !! i have hardly known a fewer persons who might have wondered about these little things going around in their  life for they  have become so busy that they hardly care about the super natural thing , the ultimate life that is GOD!! .. going through the existence of life of a persons  today people term it as the blessing of natural things for eg water , air , food not realizing that these are the evolution of GOD himself !! people live in a country of thousands of different races , colors , and sexes and beliefs they have different prejudices and they have different attributes towards each other for they dont realize that they all are the sons and daughters of the same GOD and for they have to return to him !! making idols , making temples, making mosques and raising slogans , wearing the christ around neck or having a big bhuddhist prayer flag would make no difference if the HEART is black !! for the GOD is one and his teachings is for all and the teaching is the TRUTH and PURE !!every religion teaches us the path to GOD it is the humans who have created the idols, who have created the slogans creating different faiths and sometimes grudges into there hearts !! praying all the day and night wont help unless and untill the practices are right ! for example a poor doesn’t pray  the way his religion teaches him to but before leaving his house he just asks GOD for the blessings  with a pure heart . and later in the day he really works hard and and earns his livelihood !!on the other hand a capitalist prays all day and night praying to GOD that he should be able to grab all wealth from money and curses the poor in his prayer it is so damn obvious that he aint going to prosper ! this is a difference … for many praying GOD is puja and doing stuffs that their religious books say and for some it is the CONNECTION WITH GOD !!GOD doesnt judge people as common man does by just pointing the defaults he sees the conditions and he sees the conditions of heart and REWARD  us with the same !! so am not claiming that my religion is best or the practices of people are wrong this article is just the ground for many those who still believe that praying doing the religious stuffs would please GOD !!so going back  home tonight or today,  have a long breathe and ask yourself that  am i  praying with the clean heart or ask your self how many times i have prayed for the other needy ones this might sound to you somewhat freaky but just give a try ,what if GOD lets you smell his WONDERS then !!!

I QUOTE ; GOD IS IN EVERYTHING , BE IT A PLANT OR A BUSH IT IS UP TO MAN HOW HE FINDS HIM – REEB !!