OH , I had Musings!

parchment-memories-blank-paperOKAY,yesterday I had been thinking of making some good out of life , and not just sit and wonder at my 40 ‘s that what I really did ,and what I ought to have done . Many ideas  flared up in my mind which were singing the songs of excitement . One among such ideas were to learn singing and dancing at some tutorial classes which was not very far from my home , another thought that originated within my brain was to write as much as i could in these few days of 2013 , which would be a sought of a memory journal for myself .And the entourage of thoughts went on for about an hour . After my candid little fingers were actually paining to hold on to a pen between three fingers I decided to barricade my grains of excitement my brain had to the new coming cognition’s ,and I closed the list . After I had a review of what I had written for past one hour my animations of words of my brain on paper had failed .They were packed in a tight jar of security and a little protection that didn’t let me do even half of the list . The chattels I had written down included forces of family , society , friends , personal guilt , entertainment , excitement , non acceptable , bounded by rings of people on its periphery but indeed for a layman they only embodied with pretty little desires of singing , dancing, sky diving , painting , and workshops which would let me amplify the best out of me , but I was social not the Facebook one but I lived in a society were even coming out was a great big deal . There was absolutely a great seal which bounded this sheet of paper with my heart and all I could do is wait for somebody to break it from beneath.

Within one hour , I was back to my surroundings like i could feel the presence of my belongings that were so cozy because of winter snow flakes that had turned the greenery into grey thoughts and the life had a halt signature . It felt like I had lost all the power which laid within myself before I could see the empty lines of paper and I was like a dead bird attacked by the powerful force from the sky only .

                                   I WAS BACK TO THE REALM OF MY HISTORY WHERE I COULD ONLY CHECK MY NERVES TO BE ALIVE , BUT HELL I WAS WASTING IT WITH EVERY DESIRE TO LIVE AS I LONGED .

Life I presume after I die !!

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Death is so saddening , at a point of realization that we all have to die we actually feel numb and it freak our minds . I sometimes think of death and world as a tale an ancient one that is told to us for not being too much desirous and we as a matter of fact tend to accept it as a ultimate reality ,reality that will never end . But then its our way ,way of humans . The phenomenon of seasons, (winters,monsoons,summers,autumn,springs)and many more things seems to be some kind of things man has created for who is GOD we actually don’t know .So this world actually appears to be like a fairy tale and we are living in its fairy land . But then what is there that has no END ,what is there that has no Beginning ?life is clueless at even next second. Then why doesn’t a human reflect and ponder about death sometime in his existence . maybe we are too supreme beings that we don’t fright death any more ,maybe we have found solutions to protect ourselves from death and that has made us ignorant .But at this journey of my in WordPress where my posts have crossed a century yes (100) I and my heart imagine the story of life after my death ,my presumption i call it :-

1.The news would spread like a wild fire , and i don’t know how much time before i die would i live with my family . being the youngest of siblings my death will leave half dead everyone .my parents would turn  half crazy and they would not find any reason to smile . (which i beg them not to do because life is much more then just living for children’s ,move on i suggest).

2.My belongings would not be given off ,that much i know for my family would keep them as a sign of remembrance,but then at some years or months ahead they might bury them in soil .

3.After my death ,my friends would talk about my wrong doings and right ones and also back bite my disadvantages . but then who really cares for FRIENDS i never had really the real one ‘s (so go on bitches);p .

4.I would be a center of conversations among many people who would have come across me .IF i would have been an office going my firm would take out many words of gratitude on news papers and would also appreciate my work in their on going conversations .

5.Social network sites accounts (twitter,Facebook,whats app) would all be DE-activated and it would say the link is broken .

HOW I WANT IT TO BE LIKE :-

1.My family should not consider it as the ultimate end. for their existence means alot to lord .my family should get over it asap .

2.If successful my books (because i will be a writer and nothing else)should be preserved by the government of at least 6 countries as a mark of respect .

3.I should not die of any disease GOD should let me die in a minute and without pain .

4.I would at least have visited 6 God made countries.

5.I should get enough time with family so that i could repent for all the wrong doings of my existence .

p.s:phew ,my hands were trembling in reality while writing the article .tasting death would be absolutely out of the world . i pray i do not get  a suicidal death nor a premature one . the time lord has allotted for me should be my ultimate .

(on the celebrations of my 100th post ).

Thoughts

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When each of us is born we are given as soul as if a
crystal ball…bright pure and shining….and this glitter
amazes us when we are small bt then as we grow
up…we ignore it….with time its shine tarnishes….and it
falls down again and again making it look like a big farce . And then the old same story is the new arrival of the show. The show of the life . The soul apparently loses the spark it gets invisible we try to get the spark back by praying but we are stuck between the materialistic and the spiritual world. Then it suddenly raptures ,someone takes it ,and what remains behind is the outline of our’s which was actually never created.