A pen in my hand , a notepad (spiral) in front (open),and thousand of words in mind ,my brain was ready to expose what i had felt but my hands were in a fix not in any moment ,yet they felt a need ,a need to write . Not for anybody else to recognize but to let my heart out so that i dont let myself feel numb
It was a family time , (family that comprised my brother ,elder sister )for parents they were in my actual home ,home kashmir . So there was dark, just to create the theatre atmosphere the speakers were in a blast and our eyes were on the laptop screen some minute distance away . And among the many movie blockblustors what we played at the moment when clock struck at 5’o clock ,was actually an oscar winning movie 2013 biggest hit LIFE OF PIE . When i actually watch a movie or read a book , i place myself in the protogonist place and feel whatever he goes throughout the movie or book and this selected piece was no less . Though there was no female protogonist in it but that didnt made any difference to me and the movie started with the movie star cast . The movie starts with the conversation of two men ,one being the main actor and the other a mere friend . The main actor was telling his life time experience to this friend who was not stoping for a minute and a chain of questions flowed through him . And at this point i was already the actor of my movie and i imagined my best friend sitting on the same couch as was in the movie . I was high . Later the main actor had to go on a voyage because his father ‘s job was transfered and he was gloomy all the time. This was the time i didnt have any plot of my story for i never went to any voyage but still i replaced the part with my journey to Pakistan back in 2010 . I could reflect the hustle bustle the actor went through his start of voyage and the weightage was done . In our lifetime these days we weigh any journey to be more heavier then life’s and what we forget is that our lifestyle is just our little perception that has clouded the real fact .
So the movie sets off ,and actor is all in gloom and this voyage seems no fun to him . I being the same . The actor being shy tries to overcome the sadness, he feels alive when a group of animals make noise and scream in their own voices . (His father owned a zoo that was carried along in the voyage ) he goes downstairs and find himself in the front of ship where the ocean was clear to him . And in this joy i came closer to life . Like neverbefore had i imagined the pakistan crossways ,never in my life had i thought to see the other part of lord’s world and creation and that very moment i felt lord beside me who is infinite and i bet the actor would have felt same . And what is bliss more then praising lord and i inside my soul said a little prayer . In the meanwhile the weather in the movie changed and what was the intruder was the storm a heavy one . Out of not knowing this boy out of joy screamed for more rain ,lord answered it with storm and storm and hence the voyage started had an incomplete end written already . And the boat sank letting all the other men die . And i had a sigh . Not that i too had to die in my movie but to have seen sufferings going around world,seeing a son loosing his mother or vice versa and what worse a body dying of a cancer i had to sigh .
All the people in the boat didnt die , not the boy who had felt life in closer way . He was alive ,was it a lords blessing ?or was it that he had something incomplete work ,was unknown and it was left to the director of the movie to expose . For me my director was lord and everytime i recollected of any narrow escape i had at that point i just closed my eyes and thanked god for he had everytime saved me . So with no captain ,no actual training this boy was on a boat . Amidst the stars at night , in the wide blue ocean ,,he was with his only companions that could neither talk nor demand yet lord’creation the only masters yet wild his zoo animals . But due to some incidents all the animals had to either breathe their last , or sink and die in the ocean . But one stood there with its mouth opened and one which roared the tiger . The boy was frightened . Obvious is the thing . But how far could he live on that alone boat afraid .?he had to do something for his existence mattered to him .in the most beautiful of all the ways he made friends with the tiger , and now what ever would come they both would have to settle together and this interval taught me my biggest experience ,experience of life .
That no matter what happens never end ,never let your body suicide for your body suffers not your soul and this body plus soul is in the grip of lord and we are no one . And between the evil and bad things donot ever let bad ruin you , from your affection turn it into good ,for both are created by lord heavenly and it is not we who are to distinguish . What we are for is to nourish our own body ,protect it ,feel it , meditate it ,for if our intentions our right lord will turn darkness into daylight only if we give him a wink .and this is my movie ,my
LIFE .And at this point i dropped my pen closed the notepad . I had let my heart burst,and what had been more obvious then tears flowing through my cheeks . And my veins had went blue .