The internal web .

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I have been thinking for a while about the rich colours things have got. Like purple is the signifier for brinjal , orange /red for tomatoes and etc. I have been amazed by the puzzle they lay before the eyes. Because its the perception that leads for t for tomatoes o for oranges and p for purple’s . Perceptions and thoughts are the two internal webs.

What if I tell you the real thing. I am not the man but a structure. Alright ,don’t look to yourself but just think.
I am a solid.
I huge body and bulk of ( what science calls meat).
I have some strange features which define my powerful structure.
I have got a lens , I have got a grip , I have got a sensation.
But tell me one thing animals got the same.
Why am I man?

Anyway, I might be thinking a lot and over thinking leads to explosion.
But yes ,think about the conversation you have had with your mother yesterday night.
You uttered words full of emotions and she did the same.
But.
Where did the words go? Ask her around 20 years later about this conversation and she will say when , how or even Wh are you? Probably because she might be losing her memory power at that time.

Bang!
A realization.

Words are signifiers. They don’t mean anything unless you don’t have any proof.

I am not a man. I am a solid. We all are. Let’s praise the matter and find reason.

We have webs all around. And to structure them we need the licence of wisdom . Open your eyes, well wait open your vision.

This is Life.

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It’s like a flower. You water it ,and there rejenuvates opposites. Thorns and the flower of colours. To the naked eye the flower is always the beautiful , thorns are just a part of it though poisonous.

It’s like a bird . Having feathers which make it a flying thing. It’s like a bird which is so free that the human life creates the opposite for it. But when the same bird targets yet another like him , he is the devil . And the freedom becomes the obsession.

It’s in the colours too. Humans who are fair love black. Marriage couple detest it for having repelling nature. On contrary white is dove. Snow and serene. It’s like the colours. Beautiful but destructive.

It’s like pride. The neck is high above the ninth cloud. But even if the apple which created the gravitation didn’t fall ,the flowers which were spread in the sky for the felicitation of beauty fell down and were crippled under the shoes of the inhuman.

It’s like the iciles. Its winter. Its frozen. But on the other side its the water formed by the hot rays of sun. Its like summer , you can’t get naked because the skin isn’t enough to reveal. The scars are.

If you still didn’t get what “It” is like , grab a book , spread your legs , bask the sun. And you will feel alive. And that’s life.

The summer farewell.

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family-quotes-hd-wallpaper-5I was small when I had watched a television commercial which reflected the melancholic child who left his parents for hostel. I remember , the laugh and the critical appreciation I would do as a kid myself. But all our lives we don’t remain the same. Its proven that a human grows at every step. And the realization of a television commercial becoming a part of my daily summer vacations creept me within.And the laugh had changed naturally to the lumps of tears at the time of see off’s.

Well it was the year 2014, and I had come home back from the college which was in the national capital of the country I live. It couldn’t get better on seeing the first sight of my mother at airport . I knew the picture behind her statue pose , restricting herself to spread her arms for me to run to her. Because we have a society she couldn’t.

The happiness of leaving home is the excitement to return back.How true is the writer. Excitement creeps you like cold Peirce’s into a human who is about to die.

The waves of excitement that you experience on crossing half away is not in comparison to any of the worldly happiness. And the way we think its going to end it does, it surely does with tears and immense pride .

My mother and I sat on a porch that very day . Gossiping like never before we ate ,drank ( not liquior because its banned in our house), and a new wave of freshness came within me . It felt as if I had left the paradise after Belzebub had motivated me to return to hell. It felt I was now satisfied about my existence and life that I never ever wanted to leave them again in future. It felt we were blood and it was flowing. And yes we were the infinite blood.

The extra care we receive after a year back home is tremendous. New city had sucked my half of a blood through its veg meal menu available at every step of it .But it was mother who actually gave me my life back. And its not only about the food always , its always the love , affection that the family doesn’t feel less of.

As summer season is washed by winter. And it finds happiness in turning up once again after winter have had its term , my vacations where ended with the re -opining of college and my life was back to a place which made my life nonetheless a void.

{Families are the biggest thing one has. It includes your parents, siblings , and cousins. The rest of the world comes in acquaintance. -beer}

The venom.

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It was  located at the end of the farmland.Beautiful landscape and growing grasses had there own  scenic beauty and most of the newly wedded romantic couples  couldn’t let themselves be in less awe.It was rumoured that once a woman was seen looking in a mirror and had disappeared amidst the wall of the house but none could believe without the evidences.The street in which it was located was called 124 ,and had a similar wave of fear found in the Hollywood picture which had won the Oscar . It was believed that when in the midnight people travelled through 124 street some misfortune happened to them altogether. Or else there lives were damaged for eternity. It was rutting in my body the fact of facing the devil if this house possessed. I had been working with the most renowned paranormal industry since a year now and they had rewarded me with a bronze and gold medal for my tremendous contribution and had chosen me to dissect the house from its edges to its bottom, kitchen to its washroom and see if there was a venom pouring through its corridors. I had my hands up and with the mission of spending one night in the farmland I travelled through the country and reached this conjured house. 

The more enlightened our houses are ,the more their walls ooze ghosts.

_Italo Calvino..

 

Putting on my baize I bid good bye to my driver and I was all alone with my camera on the video mode and my Holy Book and the rooms of the house that was missing a family since ages or had been the murderer of the same.My heart did fall to the voice which I had accidently made by punching hard on a wood and had thought to be of the first attack from the pre -paranormal being residing there since I don’t know  for how many times.

It was a great fiction happening to my real life. My own shadow was trying to judge my fear level and the strength to deal with anything but not black.I had always loved black colour for it’s grace and the quality to go with any next damn colour. But this scene of black colour was different. It was creepy like the raven sitting on the border of the dusty window closed since ages.

My body prespired and I was suffocating.

Because the windows were closed and I didn’t want to disturb the comfort zone of my friend devil who maybe was sitting just next to me half burnt , ugly like Belzebub or else whose intestines was naked to human eyes, or maybe just mine. I waited for the next attack. I scratched my skin for it was tremendously itching , and I had blood coming out of the little mosquitoe bites I got for living in for just 12 hours. I had packed a MCD burger for myself and couldn’t stop my butterflies from flying through every corner in my belly. As soon as I opened it , and had a bite I heard a noise something that could co relate to the voice of my having a bite. I had a bite again and again it was there even more louder. Until I finished my burger I  had felt as if 50 more people were dining tonight with me. It was aweful and I could feel the pressure through my bones going straight to my cold feet which were numb.

I always have looked high upto myself.I always thought of myself to be more beautiful and to be charismatic. I always applied costly make ups and branded perfumes which either my dad or I myself bought from the local general store. But this time when I had a bath from the tub which I had rescued from the empty space in the kitchen and had filled it with water from my water jars I smelled of the rotten meat , and I sniffed again and again and thought of a dead animal. It felt like I was living in an open land where dead bodies of human laid in open fresh space of air which was kept like that since my grandmother was born.

I tried living with that smell till I laid down for it was one in my wristwatch. While I laid down I felt as if someone was lying upon me . I felt myself of 6000kgs and around me I felt my dead companions were regularly twisting and curling . 

      I wasn’t alone ,I satisfied myself.

My feet was first dragged by the mighty dead till the entrance door , to the roof of the house where I could imagine myself with the tongue outside my mouth and cockroaches of all the shapes and sizes biting me from beneath and making my flesh visible to my own eyes.

It was horrible. I was one and they were I don’t know how many. It was pathetic. I just wished for the sun to shine when I would have fulfilled my promise of being alive and spending one night in the house of my so not called beloved. Beloved because they had spent the night with me taking full care of my heart and drenching it with the maximum percentage of fear leveling from 10% to 100%. 

The sun rose the next day , I was bruised.I grabbed my camera and didn’t had the strength to look back at what had happened to me. Because remember I had kept it at the video mode.

I was saved because I had the holy book.I was saved because the venom of lord had been stichted to my heart.

 

Street 124, my biggest nightmare and indeed the most unfaithful fiction happening to my real life.

 

 

 

 

Ecstasy with nature

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Throughout my childhood , I had travelled into places of nature and woods. The place of my birth as many say is ” Paradise on Earth”. As children of twelve , we used to hide behind the huge mighty trees , and play truth and dare with family and friends. Little , we would know that we would leave this place for the higher education and call our hometown a “vacation spot”. Time and life indeed waits for none , they passed in my life too. Without realizing the rich resources of my place , I was a new traveller altogether in the year 2014, when I came back from holidays almost after 10 months. With the new ideologies present in me the nature brought in me the wave of renaissance . It is very well said that trees do speak , and that is why the leaves always wave their fragrance in every space of air and enchant the viewer with the new wave of praises.

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of sceneray ,air,mountains ,trees ,people. I thought ,this is what it is to be happy. -Sylvia Plath.

 

 

It was a jubiliant day. Everybody surrounding me had stretched lips. However , I was just fine. My eyes rolled from one tree to another. It felt like the whole of forest had resided in my self. Many woods which were cut haphazardly seemed to me like a statue of a man or a woman . And sometimes it felt as If they are about to recite something. A story ,maybe a sad one. We traveled through the zig zag roads of Pahalgham , to my memory lane which was a park with rushing white water flowing over the stones and pebbles. But this time it was different though the beautiful tint of green shade was same and even more brighter. From the eyes that could see the lofty mountains , they captured the white snow patches which are called “Glaciers”. They appeared like a sheet of white dreams that were laid to feel the infinity. Travelling approximately from 84 zig zag pathways , we reached a place where I could smell diversity.

   Who had recited the poem of Hindu -Muslim fights , they do re-unite under this place , and here it was. The road for yatra , the road of Amarnath.

 

 

I could feel the electrifying happiness imbibed in the devotees who had come from far off  the north and had eclipsed the half of the place. The white sheet of dreams that first appeared to me as a patch of snow laid for the infinty was now a hurdle between me and the mountain which seemed easy to climb from the stance I had maintained. The place was called “Chandawari” and the glacier had different colours if witnessed from the eyes of the mountaineer standing high up above. The only thing that was disturbing was it wasn’t as white as it looked from far. It was of smoky grey and black. And the muddy footsteps had altogether changed the tint of white shade to that of light brown. It did look pathetic , but indeed beautiful.

I curled , twisted ,and fell down from the slippery touch of the snow. It was the same glacier which melted down with the curtain of the sun and it was the same snow. However I managed to trek it and I called myself a victorious lad. For I never was passionate about mountains or glaciers and briefly trekking.

When I reached a place somewhere middle of nowhere but trees engulfing it from every side I watched the birds flying up above and calling out to each other in the awe of love or hatred one never knew. I have met people at every step of my life and trust me these group of people where special to my heart not just they were proud to be at the top of the mountain just because they weren’t and that made them perfect.

I met the bacckerwals high up in the mountain and spend a night with them. It was something extra ordinary for I had the same custom of bringing in tea on a tray. I felt as If these customs have lowered down the living simple system of life and it has. Everyone is somewhere on another modernizing themselves out of nothing. We were well served , questioned ,glared and yes treated as rich people.

Imagine for a second that you are cut off from the land of your place , people and relatives. No signal for phones and also no one to call. You might call it a dreaded dream but they live like it, there life is like this. High up above and happy. I had wished for a same life in one of my later articles but now I would just call it my naivety for it is very dangerous. For you never know when you will have a energetic nature wave which can destroy your Ghar which is made of unfortunately a polythene and one of the purchased broken tin.

We had to go. And we went down the glacier again , feeling empathatic towards the bacckerwals we had just met. And I couldn’t thank lord for blessing me with everything I desired of. It was maleficient to know that I was indeed special to be born on land. And the next time I dreamt of being on the top of the world lord give me thousand deaths for I was the sinner and I had everything.

We then moved out of the lush green forests of Pahalgham and reached different exact places of kashmir which are equavilant in beauty and landscape. In the meanwhile when we were on the road struggling to get through the traffic road I smelt the incredible stupidity of the humans that make them not less then animals.

Who would like to park an empty machine they call car , at the bottom of the road where if you go tilted you die and if you go curved you live.

It was so inhumane of the human who had just parked his car out of nowhere in the middle of the road.It was pathetic to witness such a sight and guess what we didn’t have any traffic police . they came after we rang them up and we were rescued.Insanity indeed has its own role in the nature bombarded place.

Going back towards home from the town of “basket of apples ” and the “walnuts” I could just not be enough greatful for lord who had blessed me with the sense of vision.

 

Its like having sight, when you open it you see things around you and when you close it ,its a dreaded zombie. Its like your stars are at edges and your heart is at ecstacy with nature.1404292847202

 

 

The Hugged Raven .

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It was getting whispery, I had my mind swirled

Thoughts flew on my head ,and hand became the supporter.

I kept thinking on my past memoirs

Which were filled with blood and pain,Death had wretched me down and above

When I stopped thinking, and acted for a minute.

 

I took the autograph book signed by my batchmates,

Sighed for none were now in the limelight

 

Life is a miracle, we experience as we move on

We meet humans, as we live.

Its easy to pretend, difficult to die

When you have kids of all ages

Trying to be better then you

You smell yourself that of the loser,

A new wave of technique grasped me

It was like a nirvana ,when I succumbed in one corner

It was as if somebody had hugged me

And I had become a soul.

Take me from beneath ,I asked HIM

But he just sent me a Raven

And I had smile .

I still remember the aloofness I was later engulfed in

But couldn’t get the hold of time

To what I could have relied on.

Now I am stronger and I jump out of anxious

Let I open my wings to the mountains

And let I fly like a hugged Raven.

 

 

 

 

Man’s Lust and His forgiveness.

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Man said to himself :-

“I am the most knowledgeable.

The first scientist ,and the explorer,

I am the creator of the calendar .

I had the first lexicographer ,

And the first mathematician.

I loved my beloved the most ,

And didn’t punish it to the hell.

I climbed the mountains,

And sang in His benevolence.

I am the superior ,

Yet I am punished.

What lies in my body,

Is the fault of the creator.

But I created this world by pieces 

Who created me of what?

Irony is present time machine,

Of which Shakespeare was the master.

He was yet again a Human ,a man

Who is to be blamed.

Answer my apprehension,

Oh creator of the Adam. “

God replied :- 

“. You did things out of curiosity

It was never your own creation.

You gained knowledge from the theories of my great men,

You explored from the adventures of my heroes.

You created the paper fate , but you are already pre destined to the damnation.

You said you created the dictionary ,

But it was I who created A for apple and Adam.

You add one to one and get two ,

But it was I who gave you gentilesse to produce.

You say that you chanted verses in the memory of me,

But did never thanked me for the things I delivered .

You questioned me about the creator.

To which I answer out of the despair

I had created the humanity to realize the magic of my charm,

I got Lucifer and belzebub to enchant. “